Speaking from the Heart: People-Pleasing and How to Overcome It.
Have you ever been there when it hurts to do something or to be something, but you did it anyway by putting a massive log of patience in your heart? Yes, we are talking about the habit of people-pleasing.
It does not matter whether you do it by heart by you are habitual and programmed for such behavior, it will hurt you and only you in the end!
Many people struggle with a common but usually overlooked habit called people-pleasing. Although, on the surface, this inclination seems gentle, it can cause major emotional and mental pain.
This blog post will look at what people-pleasing is, why it occurs, and how to spot and stop this behavior.
What Is People-Pleasing?
Please-pleasing is done often at the sacrifice of one's own needs and well-being. It is the drive to go to tremendous efforts to make others happy. It means putting the expectations, wants, and emotions of others above your own.
Although empathy and consideration are admirable qualities, pushed too far, they can turn negative. People-pleasers find it challenging to say "no," feel guilty for others' emotions, and worry about criticism or rejection.
Why Do People Become People-Pleasers?
That’s an interesting question, isn’t it? Why do people become People-Pleaser? Knowing that it will only consume you and not give you anything in return. People-pleasing is often deep-rooted.
Some common reasons include:
Fear of Rejection: Many people-pleasers worry that if they deviate from others' preferences, they will be hated or rejected. This anxiety can result from past events in which saying "no" had bad results.
Desire for Approval: People-pleasing behavior might result from a need for approval and recognition from others. This need can be related to low self-esteem, in which case one's feeling of value depends on outside approval.
Conflict Avoidance: Some people engage in people-pleasing to avoid conflict. They may think that keeping people content will help them avoid arguments or conflicts.
Learned Behavior: One might also learn to be people-pleasing from early years. People who grew up in settings where their needs came second to others may carry this behavior into adulthood.
People-Pleasing Behaviors
It is difficult to analyze and observe personal behavioral patterns, but you can if you adopt a proactive approach to these issues. Experts say that awareness is the first step towards quitting this toxic trait of people-pleasing.
Saying "no" might be complicated, even if you're overburdened.
Even when it compromises your well-being, you sometimes put the needs of others first.
You feel uncomfortable when you don't get the recognition.
Even if it means sacrificing your ideals or goals, you avoid conflict at all costs.
You try to meet everyone else's expectations.
How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
You can start by realizing when you're stretching yourself too far. At this point, you need to realize that it is time to say "No." You should set healthy limits. Apart from this, one should develop self-compassion.
Treat yourself gently and realize that your value isn't determined by the amount of good you provide for others. You should pay heed to self-care and attend to your own needs.
Furthermore, you must examine the negative ideas behind your people-pleasing behaviors. Saying "no" in low-stakes events and tracking the results will help you test this belief.
Seeing a therapist can also be quite helpful. Therapy is a safe environment where you may investigate the underlying reasons for your behavior and create coping mechanisms,
Conclusion
Though it may seem like a means of preserving relationships, but people-pleasing usually results in emotional tiredness and resentment. You need to recognize the indicators of people-pleasing. Then, you can act to overcome it.
It will help you to recover your self-worth and create better, more balanced relationships. Remember that healing the heart starts with realizing your needs are equally as vital as everyone else's and putting yourself first.
Disclaimers:
This blog content is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for professional therapy
